Saturday, 11 November 2017

Sorry Not Sorry

If you're reading's too late. That's another dry Dad joke for you, what I actually meant to say was, if you're reading this the strike is still on. Update on week two of the strike; it's lasted two weeks. Duh, however that's how long the last trike lasted which I believe was the shortest period yet, at least out of the three strikes this year. The longest  lasted roughly three months, between January and was it March?  The dons are talking big, they are in for the long haul. On my way to work, I was  deep in thought as to what I should do over the supposed  "long haul", quotes because between you and me I don't see it lasting very long. I could be wrong. I do see it having an insane ripple effect like having the school year spill over into a good chunk of the festive season, say, the third week of December when everyone is getting their Christmas spirit on. More than that, I am almost sure that that means first thing next year we will be neck deep in exams anywhere within the first three weeks of January, which means that the one week off for Christmas break will really just be code for study leave.

The expected course of action is, well, to get some studying in, group work compiled and out  of the way and begin and finish the dreaded research paper. I should probably make myself some sort of schedule if at all the intention is to realize these academic goals.

On the other hand, I really shouldn't exclusively box myself into academics, even with my situation as dire as it is, gradewise. Besides writing everyday,  I would like to, drum roll please, read a book a week. In the words of Stephen King, "To be a writer, you must do two things, read a lot and write a lot". What good would it be to write a bunch of posts if I'm not putting in the work towards them.Mine would just be tunnel vision, using the same idioms, vocabulary, writing about the same thing from a different perspective. If I am going to get my 10,000 hours in, it might as well be 10,000 quality hours.

However today's post is something that has been on my mind since last evening. I would love to tell you the genesis of it all but it involves me eavesdropping on a conversation, maybe I heard right, maybe I heard wrong or maybe I'm just making a mountain out of the slightest of molehills. Either way, I took away a couple of valuable adulting lessons.

It's always important to take a step back and look at the problem from the offended party's point of view. I am still learning that apologizing isn't a sign of weakness. When my name popped up on the eavesdropped upon conversation you best believe I was up in arms ready to defend myself but the more I listened the  more I realized that, it's never that serious. Not everything is a fight.

Saying sorry and being sorry is not the same thing. This may sound  harsh but you don't always have to be sorry but it's more therapeutic for whoever is offended to hear it from you. More often than not, once you understand what the offense  is, you will be sorry giving sincerity to your apology.

You don't have to empathize if it's not any fault of yours. Morally speaking and from the Christian point of view, it's expected, but the reality on the ground is everyone is bogged down with their own dose of problems. Let me speak for myself here when I say I am on to the next one even before there is a next one, I guess this is my wake up call to sometimes stop and get a strong whiff of the coffee.  I still hold my stance, just because you are going through it doesn't mean you have to drag as all along with you.

But the most important take away and the most fitting way to wrap it up would be a quote I saw from tumblr last night,

Self care isn’t always pretty , it’s not always candles and a bathtub full of roses , sometimes it’s forcing yourself to get out of bed and dragging yourself , sometimes it’s the pep talk you give to yourself or the quick cry in the corner . sometimes it is convincing yourself to do all these things you should be doing but you have no will whatsoever , sometimes it’s cutting some ties no matter how precious they were , sometimes it’s the bitter medicine you need to give yourself .
Self care isn’t always pretty but it’s so worth it .
—  Kriti.G

Have a good one!   


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