Wednesday 9 January 2019

Another one for the Jordan Year

So there I was with an E on my transcript. You hear about it, you see victims wandering campus, heck, you even see them laugh it off but never in a ga-zillion years did I think that I of all people would be confronted with the ugliness of it all. That was pretty much the first two weeks of 2018.

The first semester of my first year, at least what was left of it, given all the lecturer's strikes, I buckled down and put in the work. It wasn't all doom and gloom, while a majority of the senior student body were having a wild time writing their research paper, I had a silver lining around what was possibly a big, dark, grey academic cloud; a dutiful and available research supervisor. His name, Commissioner Lawrence Mute. I couldn't be more grateful for the support that I got especially when left, right and centre I would hear tales of rumored supervisors, never seen in the flesh, sent emails with not even an automated response back or plain and simply put difficult members of faculty.

My Jordan year was also the year that I was going to meet Miss EvelynFromTheInternets. I had just been watching her for just over a year on Youtube, following her on Instagram, subscribed to her mailing list,in a nutshell I was, still am, make no mistake, a fan who stans. When she made the announcement that she would be gracing the motherland with her presence I kept my ears pealed for the moment that she would announce a meet-up. Tell me why, literal hours before the big meet, I would be ridden with a flared up case of sinusitis, the worst part, I distinctly remember uttering the words, 'Nothing and no one will stop me from meeting Evelyn from the Internets'. How does the saying go again? We plan, God laughs. I bet I had Him in stitches.

Fast forward to February, everything was going just fine. It was the first week of Lent, usually the hardest, this one was going to take things a notch higher. I had this incident at work where I legit resigned. For obvious reasons, I will not go into the details but, being the firm believer that I am, of course I questioned why? Why did God let all that happen to me? For the most part I still do. However, all things work together for good,and the good in this, despite my dignity being kicked to the curb, let's just say that this little piggy is now hardcore, tougher than nails.

The highlight though, was writing my last exam. It was a Saturday evening when I walked through the gates of my neighbourhood listening to Migos Stir Fry. Did I have a smile on my face, possibly, you know a thug doesn't smile. A grin is the limit and when we are feeling special maybe a smirk but a toothy smile, never. But when I got into the crib,(who am I?) I. Was. Beaming. Sure, writing the last paper doesn't mean that you dip, far from it, in fact but it sure does make everything feel different, taste different, put a little prep in your step. There was just something in the air that evening. All the all nighters, which were a truckful that last semester, early morning classes, assignments were behind me.

Here I was with all this free time; I felt unstoppable. As it turns out feeling unstoppable and being unstoppable are two different things. I intended to fully immerse myself in the Nairobi night life. Not really but if there was a concert I wanted to go to, I could, why? I had the money and the time. Right? The first concert I intended on going for was Thrift Social where Oshun and Shekinah would be performing . Here I was, time, money but not even an ounce of energy to go. This went down the day after my last exam, it would be the symbol of my undone academic shackles, it also sounded very possible in my head three weeks prior. Needless to say, I instead settled for a Tuskys Combo meal and a Netflix binge session of On My Block under my covers.

I didn't disappoint myself all the way though. The next month I got to see Chronixx live in a night that could possibly be the best of my life.

This illusion of free time went down when my sister's wedding preparations were in full swing. The month of August, each weekend had one occasion or the other. Just when I thought I could relax and put my feet up, the preparations went up another notch. Bridesmaid fittings, fabric scavenging in the CBD, food tasting, family events. I was ready too call it, except as a bridesmaid you can't.

For the most part, though busy, things were going swell, swimmingly even.

Then, our grades were taking suspiciously long to come through and with a looming Kenya School of Law deadline we were getting worried. It was also around this time that the unit I failed and resat, my grade mysteriously went missing. Since I graduated only a few weeks ago, the spoiler is, the grade resurfaced alright, and I am just as confused as you as to how one minute there's no grade and the next its all smooth sailing.

Things were looking up. The graduation list dropped and  there I was, in a division that I did not intend to be in but I have since made hella peace with.  My sister getting married in a few hours, my grandfather set to be canonized. Did I say things were looking up? I mean we were all cloud nine surfing.

Then disaster struck, I got an abdominal infection on the eve of my sister's wedding. We were on the verge of losing one of my most favourite little people on the planet earth, my county governor had this 'bright idea' to ban PSVs in the CBD which saw me walk a whole 11 km just to get around in a single day and lost one of my favorite people on the planet earth. Grief hit me like a hit and run; fast and merciless.

I basically finished the year as it started, with a tonne of questions racking my brain, with no answers.

I turned 24 this past Saturday.


Have a good one!


Friday 4 January 2019

Jordan Year Memoirs

Happy New Year!

No,   I am not on some new year new me mumbo jumbo. If you are, more power to you, what can I say, different strokes for different folks. I came to the riveting discovery that committing to something for 365 days? Not going to happen but if I break those days down into teeny tiny bite size pieces, of say a month or a few weeks at a time, we, are in business.

This is not one of those posts where I lay all my 2019 plans on a universal platter, there's a high chance that, that is coming soon though, instead, I choose to take a walk down memory lane of my Jordan year, the big 2-3.



The day before, 4th January, it's as  vivid as they come. I worked the morning shift that day,  I also thought that I would be able to do a business errand in the second half of the day. That didn't go quite as planned, regardless, it went and that is what ultimately matters. On this day, though the dreaded exam results notification came through. An exam sat in December 2016 which I  was 100% sure of dismal performance, dismal performance, certainly not a fail, surely not a fail. My anxiety was, well, it was up there, even that is an understatement. In my wisdom at the time, I decided not to ruin the eve of my birthday or worse, my birthday, of course I left having to look at the results until I absolutely had to.


I then came to the conclusion that I was being ridiculous, I needed to woman up, rip that band-aid off and confront my reality. Of course only in a controlled environment where I would feel warmth and love. Where is that you ask? Home  with a pack  of greasy fast food fries in tow. The plan was simple, I would get home, settle myself in , turn the t.v on to serve as white noise, a distraction, company. Just something to lessen the blow. And so the time came. The wi-fi back at home chose the opportune time to pull a fast one on me, what could have been a touch and go job was lengthened by having to buy data. Long story short, theatrics out of the window, my worst nightmare was my reality, sure as day, there it was, an E . A few days later, it finally hit me and I bawled my eyes out on the phone to my mom, only after binge watching Dear White People.

(I've decided to make this a series, fingers crossed I commit)

Have a good one!