Three weeks in

If I had to say, the business, my business, Summer Oddity is three weeks old. Three weeks and not a single sale made. Yesterday, I was on the brink of tears in my weekend safe haven, the kitchen sink. I can hardly begin to describe the pent up frustration that nearly erupted last evening.

It wasn't so much the giving up in the business that wore me down but it was the jab it was taking on my character. Quitting just three weeks in would undoubtedly define me to be a pussy. The investment I made was okay, decent...arguable but not so much that would see me facing some sort of financial strain.

When my sister offered to buy one of the pieces, which was a kind gesture, it still is, but the plan was to run this as a legit business not a lemonade stand where your parents are your first consumers in a bid to give you that gentle push, I felt insulted. In the back of my mind I knew and know that I have faith in me.

Besides my character being compromised, if I made a premature stage left exit, it would also be giving up on a dream. Not my dream, it's not owned, it's more a frequent daydream. It's no secret that I have a slight problem with Youtube, I watch too much of it but it's not all a lost cause. I do take away something from some of the videos I watch, a lot, a whole lot. I know that at one point in my life New York is a destination that is on my bucket list, thanks to one Mr. Casey Neistat. I want to hit the dollar pizza spot, experience Times Square, figure out SoHo, live in the city, within the city, in the summer with it's sewer smell that engulfs the Big Apple and  in the winter with Snowmageddon.

 I've  also learnt a thing or two about thrifting, in fact, the amount of 'Come Thrift with Me' and thrift hauls I watch are unhealthy. I did discover though that there are high end thrift stores. They fit my aesthetic; a wavy, punk look in some and others just scream lush and opulence. I like to call it dignified thrifting. A cool space, solid ground, changing area, curated selection, security. So, yes, I am just describing another fashion retail store but with only unique finds. Read that to mean, you wouldn't see every other girl on the streets with your exact outfit. More than that, if you need to find a basic, like a plain black tee or an over sized cozy grey jumper maybe even an ugly dad sweater or a pair of mom jeans, you know where to find it, an in  and out job. Now imagine a shop like that in Nairobi. Yeah, the feasibility is wanting but the thought gives me literal chills, chills of pure excitement.

Calling it quits this early in the game would be tantamount to giving up on this dream. If I couldn't run an Instagram store who is to say a brick and mortar store would be any better?

Then, the panic started to set in. This time next year if all goes according to plan I should be picking up my cap and gown, adding graduation to the list of my accomplishments. That also means that I would have to quit my job, i believe the more accepted term is resign from my job...long story, but three years was the goal I set for myself and wearing out my welcome is not an option. May I mention that the joy of quitting this job reaches above and beyond the moon; it will see the return of having the last half of my day all to myself, no more anxiety just pure bliss.

Bliss with a healthy helping of financial uncertainty. Back to the scrub life of only buying the bare necessities and being cooped up in the house out of circumstance. I have been there, it's not pretty and there won't be a repeat of that piece of history if I can help it. Panic settled in quite fast, just the thought of having to stay at my job longer took a lot out of me.

With that revelation I immediately swooped into action, mentally at least. The logical course of action would be to get me a smartphone; in case you are wondering I have been robbed twice of my phones and since then I foster a deep bitterness for smartphones, phones in general. I am going to go ahead and throw in the towel and purchase a phone and try a couple of things different; follow more people (that's the only thing that is working so far), posting at different optimal times, posting a story or two and do all of this until I have the perfect pattern going. I also plan to document this "adventure" with a diary just to have a medium to unleash my pent up frustration, learning what works and what should be kicked to the curb.

While being my own cheerleader I need to constantly remind myself that I have nothing to lose.

Have a good one!