Senior year

As I type this I am on the verge of having an emotional breakdown. I am always the first person to be on an influencer's case when they stop putting out content abruptly; when I just started getting into Anita Nkatha it just so happened to be around the time that she was approaching her third and final year of uni', at some point she went ghost on her channel which had me reverting to watching her older videos. A few months after, she came back on to her channel, explaining the whirlwind that was her senior year. Now, another one of my favourite Youtuber's, Tara Efobi has gone ghost as well. I can almost bet my life on the fact that senior year is taking it's  toll and she may be back with a couple of videos the moment the festive season is in full swing.

Where am I going with this? For a minute now I didn't believe that senior year would be as tough as pretty much the whole world has been painting it out to be. Let me tell you, I was dead wrong. Today the reality of it has hit me and hit me hard.

Yes, I am neck deep in assignments even as my university remains closed indefinitely. Nearly every unit I am taking this semester, there is a paper or group assignment due. I had this grand scheme of things where this break would be the very definition of productive. I started off strong. Each morning last week I would wake up and work on a bit of an Insurance Law assignment and wouldn't you know it,by Friday that was one thing off my checklist.

And then it happened, that pesky draft proposal deadline. Friday to Sunday saw all my energy heavily directed in that direction and nothing else. Out of precaution and being, there's no better way of putting this, fed up, I submitted it on Saturday. My supervisor got back to me on Friday with prescribed changes he would have liked to be made to my proposal, yet, your girl sent the draft proposal over a week ago from Friday. The expectation I bet was to be on lock down between Friday and Sunday at 5 p.m., just slaving away at a paper that is worth just under 50% of the whole grade and fitting all the  intricacies of life somewhere in there. Is it just me or is that just a little bit insane? This is a genuine question, I am checking  on myself, just to make sure I haven't gone bananas.

One course of action I have taken as at now, closing my email tab. At this point it's just an anxiety trigger. Each email I hope is a response from my supervisor answering a couple of the concerns I raised, and each inbox notification is yet another tease.

There was a throbbing ache somewhere in my face, I had on one of those headaches at my centre forehead and a looming deadline for a research paper outline which is the source of my emotions just being up in the air. Of course, I am at work so all these emotions can only be manifested on the inside. I have also chosen to cope by watching a couple of Youtube videos, a brief get away or procrastination, you call it.

Resorting to Google how a legal research paper outline is done or at least even a sample of it, has been a dead end to say the very least. Now, I am in the process of texting friends and even that is not looking up from where I am standing. The deadline is tomorrow, I might as well guess my way through and see where that takes me, I'd rather warrant a load of corrections other than not submit at all.

Other than that, I think I will get back on track with my grand plan of getting all my other work done instead of keeping a steady pace on a project that only seems to be on the same spot or worse, going backwards. Surely, I have got to have something to show from this unexpected "vacay". 

The woes of public universities.

Have a good one!